The Conflicted Voyager:-Loknath Persaud
THE CONFLICTED VOYAGER: DESIRE AND RAGMENTATION OF SELF IN TWO RECENT WORKS OF N.D.WILLIAMS.- Loknath Persaud
Born in Guyana, N. D. Williams, a graduate of the University of the West Indies, has spent many years teaching and living in various islands, before moving to New York City where he continues to teach. After publishing a prize-winning short story, he published a novel, Ikael Torass, which won a Casa de las Americas prize in 1976. This novel, drawing on the Rodney experience, was groundbreaking in the fact that the central character, unlike Naipaul’s, for example, did not leave home for England, but for another Caribbean island, Jamaica. There the protagonist is willing to take risks, go the unconventional route and discover possibilities outside the university. Later came a book of short stories, two novellas, and a novel titled The Silence of Islands. Here, too, the protagonist, like Ikael, would like to do something radical with her life. She leaves the island to discover possibilities of self-growth outside the narrow island limits and tries to shape an identity that is free of family, religion , ethnicity. Again the novel offers no safe or comfortable conclusion. More recently he has published two lengthy works of fiction: the first, Ah Mikhail, Oh Fidel is set in New York City; the other entitled Julie Mango is a collection of short stories set, for the most part, in the West Indies.(1)
Ah Mikhail, Oh Fidel is a novel of many levels. It deals with the turbulent first year of the protagonist Michael Radix as he comes to grips with both the chaos of life in New York Cityand the adjustments required to survive teaching in an inner city school. Through Radix, not yet thirty, Williams delineates a broad cross-section of the teachers, both native and immigrant, in the suggestively named,John Wayne Cotter High School.
He portrays their attitudes , conflicts, struggles and frustrations and, while they are not just mouthpieces, they embody various ideological points of view. The situation is made more critical by the announcement that there will be some restructuring with the resultant loss of jobs. We learn about the Kafkaesque bureaucracy, the machinations, petty maneuverings or insouciance of some administrators. Many of the questions that challenge educators in American public schools today, such as the censorship entailed by political correctness, better communication between faculty of a different class or race and inner city students are dealt with. Should faculty live in the same area? Should curricula be adapted to suit students of a different race or class? How far should self-esteem and a positive environment be fostered even when inadequate performance may result? In a way the school can be viewed as a metaphor of the America of the future, if not as a melting pot, as a multivocal mosaic.
While the principal can suggest in her speech to the incoming freshman that each family should plant flowers “to lift the spirits of a borough, so unfairly stigmatized in the public imagination”(410), the prevalent metaphor for the school in the conversation of the teachers is a depersonalized one. The school is not viewed as a “cathedral of learning” but as a “warehouse,” “jungle”, “prison” or “assembly line” and the students seen as “inventory.” A few pride themselves on doing a good job, and try to understand and accommodate the sometimes convoluted lives of students. Others carry their personal conflicts into the profession or settle for the more limited enjoyments of power, and view the students with unyielding hostility. One can be so cynical that he can accept a proposal of sex for grade. The negativity of Mary Jane Cyphers, a teacher of English, summarizes the frustration of many:
But when you come right down to it, we come into this building ready to teach There are students who come here with no readiness to learn You’ve got to almost spoon feed them, serve it up like Gerber baby food before they get it And when you think they’ve got it, they walk through the door and poof all gone turned into vapor ” (245)
Nor is the depiction of life in the Bronx, with its urban decay and vacant lots, more promising. Throughout his year, Radix’ nerves are overtaxed and he lurches from crisis to crisis. He is irritated by the jobless hanging around by the “bodega”, by their drinking and wasteful jocularity. They are “blinded by anger,” and by their “don’t give a shit nihilism,” and they don’t respect other people’s space. Their language is aggressive and foul. Throughout the year, Radix’ sense of balance is assaulted by traffic jams, accidents, and violence. Students knife each other in school; Xavier, another student, is killed by an unknown gunman. In his neighborhood, two people die and when he visits his wife at Christmas, he leaves his home with a dead man in a car parked in front. Small wonder that at the end of the novel he recuperates in a hospital from an accident brought about by a fleeing gunman. This occurred when he was returning to school after he attended the funeral ceremony of Xavier, himself, a victim of violence.
In fact, moving around the city requires heroism. The narrator describes thus the activities of Travis Willowsong, a teacher who constantly dreamed of being followed by a “falcon circling in a widening gyre.” He is an “Odysseus of the spirit” who, “like that Greek voyager, survived each day the monsters and the tempests, the howling train noise, the hands and eyes that prey on hapless souls in those graffiti-marked tunnels of death.” (452) Undoubtedly the image of the voyager underlines not only the alienating environment but also the constant movement and transitoriness of relationships. Even in the park, where the individual goes to check his “pilot light inside the furnace” in the words of Pharaoh Stiles, who lost his only son, one’s sense of aloneness endures. As the narrator says in a more poetic fashion:
No doubt about it, this life was a terrible, incongruous fragmented thing; frothy rapids through which they all navigated, staying closer tothis bank or that bank for safety; isolated souls meeting and sharing distress on the sidewalk, then off again paddling and steering through rapids.(505)
How do islanders fare in this world of instability and isolation? As the narrator observes, even under different conditions, the results can be unpredictable; islanders leave home with all the pluck and wanderlust of Columbus and end up in a place they hadn’t intended: for example, married to an Australian whom they met at a party in the Bahamas. Talking about his own marriage, Radix adds: “you get what you end up with.” (97)
Radix perceives a lack of self-realization, an insufficiency in each of the relations of the islanders with whom he comes into contact. Relations between white males and colored women are tenuous and do not go beyond “closeted lust.” Nigel, an Englishman to whom Aschelle, the sister-in-law of Radix was about to be married, disappears inexplicably. Similarly Theresa Wamp, the half-Filipino principal, unintentionally terminates a relationship consisting of occasional weekend trysts by asking her lover Crystel Lefevre to accompany him on one of his European trips. Blackwelder, Radix’ landlord, at first elicits Radix’s admiration. How could this former fisherman from the islands accumulate the capital to purchase this building? Like himself, solitary and “a solitary man without a country”, how has he been able to achieve the American dream and live free of nostalgia? Radix finds that this man, preoccupied with restoring the interior of buildings, lacks an interior life and “is free of that habit of constantly analyzing the ways of the world.” (328) He fails to turn up at a get-together for the New Year that he had agreed on. He appears to be a mimic man. His reputation is maintained by a display of the stereotypical accoutrements of success: driving a Cadillac Seville and having a blonde, a mortician’s daughter, who lauds him for his “endowment” below the waist.
His wife’s sister, Aschelle, and brother-in-law, Sammy D., have created a successful business in jerk pork and other Jamaican foods and have bought a luxurious Volvo and a spacious house away from the city. It boasts cathedral ceilings and a jacuzzi with a skylight and has acquired a coat-of-arms. Sammy D. now has a new rags-to-riches story and humorously refers to it as from “Reggaemuffin to Reggaenomics.” Their vulgar display, pomposity, and the retouching by Sammy D. of his story irritate Radix; so, too, does the condescension of Aschelle . They, also, lack a sense of inwardness and depth. They do not see the irony now in their accusing Jamaicans of being the least dependable workers.
But Radix himself is not unproblematic. One may sympathize with his judgments and sympathies, but not with his actions even though external pressures on him are immense. At the beginning Radix is preoccupied with Gorbachev’s policy of glasnost; soon his relationship with his wife disintegrates, his sense of belongingness vanishes when he is told that he is a “man without a country,” and finally his job is threatened. Midway through the novel he is already so alienated that after passing drab buildings and squeezing into the graffiti-filled train, he concludes :”This is not my city.” (298) Yet he is probably too rigid and oversensitive both on the job and at home. He looks on as the relationship with his wife worsens. She complains about the ugliness and danger of the Bronx. Soon she finds excuses for not having sex, and spends hours talking to friends on the phone, because he cannot bear small talk. Finally, she moves to stay with her sister , at first at her request and then for a longer time. There, on his Christmas visit , she tries to suggest having sex with him by walking around semi-naked, but he is incensed because he felt that she was implying that these surroundings were more appropriate for such an activity, not their home in the Bronx. All through this separation, Radix becomes nostalgic for the time spent with Simone, but at no point talks to his wife directly, nor does he consider that the Bronx can be dangerous and her desire to move legitimate.
Indeed there are several indications that there are unresolved conflicts in his mind as to his choices. He did not want to “be involved with Simone” but enjoyed both intellectual compatibility and a physical relationship with her. She would like to cut the mediation by technology of the relationship of man and nature, and shield beautiful natural places from wanton destruction. In their physical relationship: he spent ” nights of the strangest intimacy, always gratifying and complete.” Simone, however, has tried to live according to her ideals. Among her other projects, she joined Greenpeace, and now writes him from Martiniqueenthusiastically endorsing Rastafarian ideas on conservation. It is not surprising that he had to postpone several times finishing the reading of her letter.
In the final dream of several in the novel, Radix dreams that he is running along a country road barefoot and suddenly the road metamorphoses into one in New York City. He is running barefoot against the traffic in winter and bystanders look at him quizzically. Soon without his being aware, his feet are embedded with shards of broken glass, bits of wood, and needles. He returns home and tries painfully to extract these objects and bleeds profusely in the bathroom. His father looks in and slams the door shut exclaiming: “I told you so!” Amarelle, his estranged wife cleans and bandages him. She waits for some expression of gratitude which he does not offer. It is obvious that his father and wife embody two contrasting attitudes in his mind to living in New York City.
While Ah Mikhail, Oh Fidel charts the uncertain course of the islander in the minefield of New York City, the stories of Julie Mango deal at greater depth both with the causes of emigration and the ambiguities of the West Indian. “Trinculo Walks the Dog” and “Your Slip is Showing, Comrade” treat of the stultifying and impoverished life in a new socialist republic. In “Your Slip is Showing, Comrade” criticism of the republic is more vitriolic. The narrator, daughter of a minister, writes: “In the republic of desperate dreaming, happiness is a pig wagging its tail in the mud.”(79) At the end of the story one passenger asks the pilot to pass over the Prime Minister’s residence so that he can go to the toilet. Fear, neglect, decay, and repression resulted in massive emigration. In the other stories the islands are portrayed as narrow, dull and constricting in which going abroad seems synonymous with self-discovery. For example, in “Remember Who You Are,” Julienne says that there is not much to become fired up about “except Jehovah and His heaven and the bodily fires He unwittingly started among some of his worshippers on earth.” (194)
Nevertheless the attitude of the educated elite contributes clearly to the acceptance of the idea that one cannot find self-fulfillment in these islands. They are all portrayed as rigid and repressed perfectionists, hopelessly out of touch with their surrounding reality. In “Trinculo Walks his Dog” the Chinese father of the narrator has a passion for good results and ostensibly goes abroad each year to keep up-to-date. Yet he rigidly refuses to compromise with the policies of the new government and complains incessantly about the statue of Queen Victoria lying in the grass in front of the Law courts. He retires in Canada. The same applies to the father of the protagonist of “Monkey Wrenching Snaps”. He is a magistrate who packs his bags and moves to London upon retirement. His good friend, the Latin teacher, Mr. Fostin, once wrote pieces under the pen name of Juvenal. He was a man who was a stickler for order in class, inspiration of Professor Valcin, but now sits in stony silence. All he does is ask his wife to read the transcripts of the court proceedings of the rape of a young girl.
The progeny that resulted from this academic training are also unbalanced and repressed. In “Trinculo and the Dog”, we find the reenacting of the Ariel and Caliban dichotomy: the concepts of repression, order, civility, planning for the future are contrasted with vitality, disorder, sensuality and enjoyment of the moment. In this well-constructed story the narrator tells both of his experiences after his return to Guyana and with an English girl Pamela. In Guyana, after walking, symbolically, on some dog shit, he meets an old schoolmate Trinculo, now with knots like a Rastafarian and a job in the Ministry of Youth and Culture. He received the nickname for his performance in The Tempest. He continues in his note and becomes noted for his capacity to embellish stories. He does not perform well in his exams and thus is not accepted at a university abroad. Invited by Trinculo during work time to a bar, he tells the startled protagonist amid drinks about his adventure with the wife of Mr. Puddephat, the English drama teacher. According to Trinculo, he met her escorting her dog in heat sitting on a bench on Main Street. Meeting her by chance again, leads him to escort her home and to have intercourse with her. His sexual conquest takes the form of a kind of revenge.
The narrator, a Cambridge graduate in French, now a professor in Canada, has a mechanical concept of psychic energy. Involvement in sex depletes the desire to build or achieve something. He has gone out with Pamela for several years but refuses to become intimate with her. She thinks that he is “gray”, more appropriate for England, and not for “the energizing light” there. She questions his attitude: “Michaelangelo, what it boils down to is this. You’re not much of anything really. Hard in the chest, soft in your trousers. That’s what you are ”(61) When told that he must feel something, he should have memories for having lived there, he ridicules the country as a “pocket size republic” with “mudlanders muddling”. He did not care for much beyond the city.
In the other story entitled “Monkey Wrenching Snaps”, we find the same antimonies in the character of Hunter Valcin: repression, excessive desire for order, love of solitariness, and lack of belongingness. His foil is Yardbrough, who is untidy, disorganized, yet married with several children and deeply interested in the welfare of others and in helping the oppressed. Hunter’s mentor was the Latin teacher and the text is sprinkled with Latin quotations, for example, “Odi et profanun vulgus et arceo” or “mens sana in corpore sano”, both of which are placed in ironical and humorous contexts. The latter quotation was placed in this context. Hunter prided himself on imposing his will on the unruly passions of his body but, as soon as he looks at a woman’s bottom, sordid images flood his mind.(146) He goes to the bathroom and thinks of Daphne Licksamber, the girl who used to taunt him when he was young. He immediately has an erection and dreams of having sex as revenge. In the same way, Hunter, dissociated from his people, came to view himself with the metaphor of a rocket. He was being prepared on the island for a “big launch” overseas, but if the technicians kept in touch with the rocket, he felt “as if he were spinning weightlessly around the planet, devoid of purpose, with no connection to mission control anywhere.(142) He was glad to sit and observe from afar the turmoil in the world and liked to think of each day “as clean and unblemished, like a windswept beach awaiting his measured footprints.”(145) It is interesting to note that only Yardbrough mentions the influence of economic forces on the lives of the people on the island.
Hunter is uncomfortable with any attempt to relate him to his past and is betrayed especially by his accent. But such occurrences do not result in any attempt at reidentification with his past. In his two trips to the island, he is exasperated. He is troubled by the heat, the mud, the food and housing, the lack of promptness, the undependability of things. From the airport he is too supercilious to sit or communicate with the average person.
Three stories, “Julie Mango or Yu See Har Dare”, “Your Slip is Showing ,Comrade” and “Remember Who You Are” have as protagonists a girl called Juliette, a choice obviously intended by the author. While they vary, all of the women show inner strength, independence, courage, and an ability to make and abide by their decisions in uncertain circumstances. They choose to whom they surrender themselves and when to move on without nostalgia. In two of the stories, the girls have to confront mothers who are authoritarian and, in their oppression, alienate their daughters further. In the first story, the image of the doctor who is of “towering stature” is questioned. He loves, but inexplicably slaps Juliette, a beautiful nurse who is his mistress. She refuses to take his ride to catch the early bus before dawn to work With a hurricane approaching, she asks him to come and get her, but he fails to reach her with his car. Later on she walks to the house through the rain, and packs her belongings and leaves. Soon rumor has it that she is now in the company of a lord. Though the doctor does not explain himself, he seems to have fallen back on outdated forms of domination and not to respect her enough.
In the second, the girl is the daughter of a highranking party official, and her father is a senior minister. Juliette is comfortable but intensely lonely, feels a certain barreness in her relationship with her mother and even asks her if she was breastfed. Soon she feels that sex would alleviate her problem and gives herself to Corbin, the family driver. Corbin takes her to a “sweet spot ” in a canefield at night , but she did not find much romance. The impersonality of this encounter is underlined when Corbin himself tells her his first name just before having sex. In addition, her mother punishes her by forcing her to work instead of leaving for university. She is introduced unsuccessfully by her mother to Colonel Puneshwar, a security chief who seems awkward, clumsy, and dominating. She meets Romesh who takes her on visits to the country, and gives herself to him also, just after they toured a decaying church. Sex seems to offer the only antidote to the depression from the surrounding neglect and decay.
“Remember Who You Are” is another intricately woven story in which the protagonist leaves home to work as a nanny in a two-career family in Connecticut, after she was helped by Yomarys, a young woman she met at the airport. She had been warned by her uncle to remember who she is because of his disappointing treatment by family who had emigrated to London and New York. She was persuaded to take the trip as a sort of reward even though she knew that her mother, an ardent Jehovah witness was having an affair with the the priest, Mr. Papo. At first she wanted to cut all links with her mother. But there is rapid change in New York and Connecticut. In New York, her good friend Yomarys is willing to return with a boyfriend for whom she had an abortion, and calls them “loosies”. In Connecticut, the son seems self-absorbed and self-centred; there is a tug-of-war between Mr. Pidducks and his wife and she sometimes howls in her room. In the spring, Mr. Paddocks, after feigning to help her, makes a weak attempt at seduction. After pitying him, thinking “he looks as sad as a flat tire,”she agrees. However, she continues to have dreams of her mother “as a mother hen” looking for her chick and misses the blue sky. She decides to return after she witnessed the treatment of Mr. Pidducks’ mother who has been left in a nursing home. The contrast of the abandonment of this old woman and the old women walking on the island is stark. She reflects: “When this is over–this wild spending of my saved up years, the panic, the flight from panic– when the time comes to spend the pennies of my last days, I would like to be back on the island, an old lady walking the dusty road ”(212
As we have seen, the big launch leads to a loss of identity, a self-centered and elitist existence. In its emphasis on control it negates the vital; through its exclusion of the many who may not do well and stay on the island, it encourages a sense of inferiority. In “Light of the World, ” Williams gropes toward a more inclusive and egalitarian solution. In the story above, the grandmothers remind one of the love and respect that the old deserve; here they allow one to intuit a continuity and rootedness: “They are dreaming souls, lighthouses to so many ships, ancient and new adrift in the world.”(93) Inspired by them, one can face the sea that is “the receptacle of sunken histories, green bottles with messages of lost ambitions, the loves we abort and throw away.”(93)
In this story, the action and portrayal of character is reminiscent of the magical realism of Alejo Carpentier. Briefly, the protagonist, a journalist, goes to interview an old woman, at the request of the editor, who met her twenty-five years ago. Yet Ma Memu is not an ordinary woman: her face was a shiny black moon; she has hair as copious as butterflies, and bosoms that look large and unused.”(99) The young man tries to move and finds his legs are weak as if he is under a spell. When asked to kiss her and close his eyes, he finds that her breath and her skin are those of a young girl. She tells him about her son Waverider. He runs away and injures himself. Rather than tell about magic, he writes a popular story in which Ma Memu told him about how gold bullion will be found on the shore swept from the seabed by hurricanes. This prompts the editor to ask him to return. He refuses and calls the editor a “pussy”.
Unemployed, he wanders by the ocean and meets Waverider who tries to talk with him as a man with “no family, no job, no home, no nothing.” Waverider makes the important offer: “I can offer you the diamonds of living memory to fill that void. Stuff myths are made of.” (112) After seeing Waverider, the old man as lithe and swift in the ocean, he takes up the offer of smoking a vagabond weed and is enchanted by other visions: of Waverider triumphant over six men paddling a boat, of being shielded by him with a “fatherly cloud.” Soon he loses a sense of time . Later, he meets a runaway kid and they talk about “school” as a bridge to the outside world. When asked as to his choice of profession, the young man astounds his classmates by saying that he wants to be a fisherman. As the journalist adds:
Well, for many, our island is still a place of no second chance. In the stampede across the bridge connecting the island to the world, you could stumble and fall under someone’s spiked heels: teacher’s contempt for your cheekbones, a father’s indifference to your tears, the cruelty of the schoolyard. Stumble fall, then crawl away in shame, the remains of your life washed down to the sea with white rum.” (119)
Soon Waverider, now incarnated as a busboy, arrives and comments on the young man Strayboy, and adds that he may have developed somewhere else, but at a price:
That boy could have been a marine biologist or an Olympic swimming champion given a chance. But then that would have changed his life completely. You have to give up the island to join the world, and once you’re out there, it’s hard to find your way back.” (121)
In one’s intense desire to join the world, “you run the risk of getting choked and robbed in the first dark alley of progress.”(121)
The busboy jumps to save an Englishman who did not really want to live. Exhausted, both he and Waverider have to be nurtured back to health by Ma Memu. Later she elaborates:
there is nothing out there nothing but cells of loneliness, streets of pain, tired old imperial nations with no places left to conquer New independent nations shedding blood like bad memories tribes of amnesiacs rushing for trains, trolleys and buses zombies hooked up to picture tubes for life support. There’s nothing out there for you, my son.” (127)
At the end the protagonist decides to stay there as a caretaker of the sea in wait for the modern day pirates who no longer “search for gold but for places to bury deadly waste.” He heeds the call of Ma Memu. He has got to catch the wave and has come to terms with ambition:
Here I am, stripped finally of all desire; feeling no more those heart-pistons of ambition, that urge to cross overseas, following old footprints; wanting no shiny trophy on the shelf, no tiger head on a living room floor.(132)
Waverider redirects the voyage into the self but is his solution, that of a Buddhist nirvana, in which desire has been eclipsed, acceptable by most on the island?
In conclusion, I hope by this paper to have given you some idea of the themes and stylistic verve of these two texts. There was not enough time to appreciate the complexity of the short stories. With regard to our topic, Williams’ endorsement of a symbolic eternal femininity is shared also by Antonio Benitez Rojo. Nonetheless, if one thinks of the voyage as integral to self-realization, the choices we have are not felicitous; each seems to truncate, to its detriment, part of the self: the spiritual or the material, the intellectual or the vital, the lure of the outside and the autochthonous. Values need to be reassessed and social reform contemplated.
Copyright. Loknath Persaud, Pasadena City College
1. N.D. Williams. Ah Mikhail, Oh Fidel. Xlibris: New York, 2001 and N.D. Williams, Julie Mango. Xlibris: New York, 2000. All future references will be
included in the text.