June 18, 2005

Jammi Science

Two Jamaican neighbours were living in Florida (in true yard-style). One called the FBI.........

The phone rings at FBI Headquarters:

"Ello?"
"Ello, is dis de FBI?"
"Yes. What do you want?"
"Mi calling to report mi neighba dem! Dem name McIntyre, Sah. Dem a hide marijuana in dem firewood."
"This will be noted, Sir."

Next day, the FBI goons went over to the McIntyre's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept, broke every piece of wood, find no marijuana, swear at Mr. McIntyre and leave.

The phone rings over at McIntyre's house:

"Hey, McIntyre! di FBI dem come?"
"Yeh Man!"
"Dem chop yuh firewood?"
"Yeh Man, Dem chop up de whole ah it - mi have nuff firewood now. Mi can even sell some."
"Okay, a fi mi turn now. Yuh hafi call dem. A need mi garden plow up."
  
Posted by Milton Drepaul at 18:19:12 | Permanent Link | Comments (0) |

Julie Mangoes

So these three people were on death row. An Italian fella, a Jamaican and ah Trini.

They were all scheduled to be executed the same day. So just before that time they were offered their last meal

When they ask the Italian fella what he wanted for his last meal he quickly said some lasagna, spaghetti and meatballs and a bottle of wine.

So they give him his last meal and about half hour after he finish they took him into the room and Zap!!! He dead.

Then they asked the Jamaican guy what he wanted for his last meal. Poor fella he frighten but he tell himself if he has to go he better go with he belly full. So he said he wanted some peas and rice, jerk chicken and a big seamoss.

So they give him his last meal and about half hour after he finish they took him into the room and Zap!!! He dead.

Then they asked the Trini what he wanted for his last meal.

Without even thinking de Trini say "Man I really want six ripe Julie mangos."

So they tell him "Sir, Julie mangos not in season right now and they wouldn't be untill next year"

Mr. Trini smile and say "Is uright, I go wait."
 

Posted by Milton Drepaul at 17:58:31 | Permanent Link | Comments (0) |